Relationship Architecture

Identifying Healthy Relationships & Honoring What You Value

Identifying Healthy Relationships

When youths can identify healthy peer relationships this increases their success in many ways. They are also able to increase their ability to manage conflict with their peers. This enables them to improve concentration in school because they eliminate unhealthy involvements with others and focus on becoming more resilient and optimistic.

Making Informed Decisions

Our youths are doing their best to navigate this world of mixed messages along with changes in their bodies and emotions. They are hard enough on themselves and rely on social media, leaving little room to feel confident in trusting adults to give them good information. The key is to inform them so they can feel in control of being able to make good choices for themselves.

Recognizing Positive Values

Students will learn to identify which friends are emotionally safe and healthy. They will also identify who is not and be supported with tools to make choices to move unhealthy relationships out of their lives. Relationships are an exchange of recognizing how they wish to be valued as they value others. They will create the discipline to honor themselves and what they value in relationships.

In an unsafe or unhealthy relationship:

  • You spend a lot of time thinking of ways to defend your actions even when you have done nothing wrong.
  • You consistently feel you are not good enough in the presence of certain people.
  • You worry about how the other will react so you make a choice that is not a good one for you.
  • You feel like you have no say in a conversation.
  • You are always being compared to others.
  • You feel confused about how they really feel about you.
  • You feel like they hold you responsible for things you did not do or say.
  • You blame yourself in order to avoid being made fun of, even though you know it was not your fault.
  • You put your Self down in your mind when you are around them.
  • You feel responsible when they are unhappy.

In an emotionally safe relationship:

  • You feel good about being yourself without feeling judged.
  • You feel you can say no without being bullied or made to feel wrong.
  • You feel respected because the other person takes responsibility for their actions.
  • You feel respected for what is important to you.
  • You feel supported for who you are.
  • You can be honest about your feelings and trust that you will not be betrayed.
  • You are encouraged by others and celebrated for your accomplishments.
  • You know what it feels like to be forgiven when you have hurt the other.
  • You feel relaxed, loved, and appreciated.
  • You feel honored, as agreements are kept without having to remind the other.